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My daughter's class is making a ginger bread house as a project -- I'm assuming it's part of the modern architecture chapter of her first grade design book. Anyway, she was tasked (read I was tasked) with obtaining gumdrops to be used on house no doubt as lawn ornamentation or windowsills or something. So, after an intense meeting with my mastermind crew (something I'll write about later this week), I popped into the always-open, never-full, As-SeenOn-TV haven known as Walgreens. At what point did the bigwigs at Walgreens realize that every informercial product known to man would be a great thing to stock at their stores? Honestly, it was a brilliant move. I'll admit I'm a fan of the Snuggie -- not the underwear over the head variety but the one that's a blanket with sleeves. It's friggin genius. Someone's grandma was totally on the ball when she sewed arms on an NFL blanket. Even my father-in-law is getting one for Christmas (oops, did I let that slip?). I may have gone overboard on As-Seen-On-TV gear this year. It's these damn late night shopping trips to Walgreens that get me every time. Last year it was a simple Ped Egg and my wife loves it. (BTW, I read that the Ped Egg has crossed the $300MM mark in sales. That's a lot of smooth feet.) This year, it's the Snuggie, the Ab Circle Pro (for me), the Point and Paint, the Swivel Sweeper, Shamwow, Foreman's Grill (the knockoff), and so many other great products that start with EZ they're too numerous to mention. My shopping fix this year I'm attributing to a lack of time and the death of Billy Mays (the lovable coke fiend). Plus, someone figured out how to subliminally sell me a product that helps me lift my fanny (The Fanny Lifter) when I didn't even know it had fallen. They also figured out a way to make me NEED memory foam in my slippers. It's like an always comfortable bed for my feet -- who wouldn't want that?! So I went in after a couple small bags of gumdrops and I left with an assortment of gidgets, gadgets, and gizmos that will no doubt be collecting dust under the bed within 2 months. "It's the thought that counts," I'll tell my wife on Christmas morning as she opens the 3 minute legs machine I found just outside the chips aisle. "Was it really $99.99?" She'll ask me. "Well, yes, but the gumdrops were on sale for .99 a bag, so really it was kind of a bargain." RIP Billy Mays. RIP.
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